


The Beatles but Gay

by bubblysours, wlizards



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Chatting & Messaging, Everyone Is Gay, Group Chat Fic, M/M, Music, Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie - Freeform, group chat college au, minor ryan/keltie, spencer smith/jon walker - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-08-29 17:19:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16748302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblysours/pseuds/bubblysours, https://archiveofourown.org/users/wlizards/pseuds/wlizards
Summary: 7:11 p.m. 9/12spanx_smithandsomeone’s private chatspanx_smith: Hey, what’s the deal with your friend Jon?someone: why whatd he dospanx_smith: He asked me if Ryan was single.someone: what a dickspanx_smith: I’ll saysomeone: what else did he sayspanx_smith: He said he was asking for a friend.someone: thats weird hahahahggIn which some idiot puts the boys together for a group project and it all goes downhill from there.Starring:someoneas Brendon,weedas Jon,spanx_smithas Spencer, andryanrossas none other than Ryan Ross himself.(As of chapter one.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Starring:  
>  **someone** as Brendon, **weed** as Jon, **spanx_smith** as Spencer, and **ryanross** as Ryan.

_**6:17 p.m. 9/12** _

 

 **someone** has created a group chat

 **someone** has added **spanx_smith** , **weed** , and **ryanross** to the chat

 **someone** has named the chat **i like dick**

 **weed** : yes brendon we know

 **someone** : ok just makin sure 

 **someone** has renamed the chat **we love dick**  

 **someone** : okay peeps this is our gc for the semester project

 **someone** : as i hope all of you know except for jon bc he was high when the prof went over it we have to write record and produce an e.p. 

 **spanx_smith** : God, don’t remind me…

 **ryanross** : wtf is this gc name

 **someone** : wDyM there’s nothign wrong with the gc name

 **ryanross** : IM STRAIGHT

 **weed** : guys ryan just came out as straight

 **spanx_smith** : Congrats Ross, didn’t think you had it in you.

 **ryanross** : wtf u guys know i have a thing w keltie lmao

 **weed** : who tf is keltie

 **ryanross** : shes this hot soph dance major i met

 **spanx_smith** : Oh her? I thought that was a joke.

 **ryanross** : WOW

 

_**6:34 p.m. 9/12** _

**someone** and **weed** ’s private chat

 

 **someone** : bitch whAt DID U SEE WHAT RYAN JUST SAID?!?!?! OHMYMGOHD???!?

 **weed** : bren i need you to take some deep breaths

 **someone** : fUCKL DEEP BREATHS JON IM DyING I THOUGHT YOU SAID HE WAS SINGLE

 **weed** : literally i know him less than you??? Why didnt you jsut ask him before falling in love

 **someone** : okay im not in love with him JON

 **weed** : why tf are you freaking out then

 **someone** : becasue hes hot and i wanna fuc :(((

 **weed** : ok bren

 **weed** : imma be at the gc if you need me

 **someone** : jON

 **someone** : doN’T GO IM NOT READY TO GO BACK THER

 

 _**6:50 p.m. 9/12** _ 

 **we love dick** group chat

 

 **someone** : congrats ryan

 **ryanross** : on what

 **someone** : your relationship???? what else lmao

 **ryanross** : ohh haha me n keltie are just ,, friends w benefits kind of. Its complicated

 **someone** : ooooohhhhh hahahahahah

 

 _**6:58 p.m. 9/12** _ 

 **someone** and **weed** ’s private chat

 

 **someone** : OH MY GODHDIOFHDSDF JONNNNNNNNN

 **someone** : GET YOUR ASS BACK ON HERE

 **weed** : what

 **someone** : WHAT DO U MEAN wha t ????!? HES FUCKING KELTIE?!?!?

 **someone** : THE AU D A CIT Y

 **weed** : lol

 **someone** : you know what im no t even going to try with you joNATHAN.

 **someone** : i guess ill just pERISH

 **someone** : FRIENDLESS

 **weed** : …

 **weed** : k

 

_**7:06 p.m. 9/12** _

  **weed** and **spanx_smith** ’s private chat

 

 **weed** : is ryan single

 **spanx_smith** : Why don’t you ask him?

 **weed** : asking for a friend

 **spanx_smith** : That doesn’t change my answer….

 **weed** : …

 **weed** : k

 

_**7:11 p.m. 9/12** _

  **spanx_smith** and **someone** ’s private chat

 

 **spanx_smith** : Hey, what’s the deal with your friend Jon?

 **someone** : why whatd he do

 **spanx_smith** : He asked me if Ryan was single.

 **someone** : what a dick

 **spanx_smith** : I’ll say

 **someone** : what else did he say

 **spanx_smith** : He said he was asking for a friend.

 **someone** : thats weird hahahahgg

 

_**7:32 p.m. 9/12** _

  **someone** and **weed** ’s private chat

 

 **someone** : tf is wrong with you you fucking DONKYE

 **weed** : what

 **someone** : gIVE ME MORE THan ONE WORD YOU GODDAMN DICKFACE

 **weed** : chill

 **someone** has gone offline

 

_**7:37 p.m. 9/12** _

  **we love dick** group chat

 

 **ryanross** : guys? Any ideas for our semester project

 **spanx_smith** : Ryan, are you single

 **spanx_smith** : Jon wants to know

 **weed** : what

 **ryanross** : no one has answered my question

 **ryanross** : also scroll up does anyone read my messages

 **weed** : get used to it pretty boy

 **ryanross** : i was thinking we go for an eleanor rigby type thing for the intro

 **ryanross** : something in a minor key to hook in the listener

 **ryanross** : what do you guys think

 **weed** : its horseshit

 **spanx_smith** : sounds good ryan

 **ryanross** : brendon? @someone

 **weed** has gone offline

 **spanx_smith** : This project is going to shit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starring:  
>  **someone** as Brendon, **weed** as Jon, **spanx_smith** as Spencer, and **ryanross** as Ryan.

**_3:27 a.m. 9/13_ **

**we love dick** group chat

 

**someone** : yeah ryan that sounds good

**someone** : alSO STFU JON YOU TOXIC TROLL

**someone** : oh what its 3 am already rip

**someone** : guess im skipping class tomorrow

**someone:** is anyone here just curious lmao

**spanx_smith** : Brendon, you fucktard, go to sleep

**ryanross** : why is this chat a thing

**weed** : idk man why are you single

**ryanross** : tf im not single i laready said its complicated

**weed** : brendon you have your answer

 

**someone** has removed **weed** from the chat

 

**someone** : good night to everyone EXCEPT jon

 

**someone** has gone offline

**spanx_smith** has gone offline

**ryanross** has gone offline

 

**_9:35 a.m. 9/13_ **

**we love dick** group chat

 

**someone** has added **weed** to the chat

**someone** : okay jon i would rather leave you out but you kind of need to be in this gc so dont do anything that will make me regret adding you back  
**weed** : 

**someone** : actually die

**spanx_smith** : Damn, Bren

**someone** : youre one to talk spence  
**someone** : 

**spanx_smith** : It doesn’t count if it’s doctored

**someone** : tf does that even mean

**ryanross** : im in class right now id appreciate it if you didn’t blow up my phone with spam gc messages

**weed** : Leave the fucking chat then you obnoxious weasel

**ryanross** : fine

 

**ryanross** has left the chat

 

**someone** : aw come on jon you scared him off!

**weed** : fucking cock scared himself off

**weed** : i didnt do anything

**someone** : meet me in PMs

**weed** : no

 

**someone** has removed **weed** from the chat

 

**_9:45 a.m. 9/13_ **

**someone** and **weed** ’s private chat

 

**someone** : dude whats ur problem

**weed** : wdym

**someone** : HELLO??? W RYAN

**someone** : U SOUND LIKE U WANT TO THROW HANDS WITH HIM 48/7

**weed** : i mean keltie has a boyfriend did you know that

**weed** : her insta is public and she’s posted a shit ton of pics with him

**weed** : and ryan’s gotta know because he seems p close with her

**weed** : how did they even get to know each other?? shes a soph and hes a freshman how did that even happen

**weed** : idk he just doesn’t seem trustworthy

**weed** : im just trying to look out for you

**someone** : so you think hes a serial killer??

**weed** : ok WHERE did i imply that like ever

**weed** : i just get bad vibes from him

**someone** : but he likes dogs and cats ??

**weed** : yea thats how u know theres smth up. They never like both equally...thats just wack

**someone** : WHERE DID YOU EVEN LEARN THIS

**weed** : so are you really in love w him?

**someone** : NO

**someone** : DONT DO ME LIKE THAT JON HFUSHFDJK I AM N O T

**someone** : ok well maybe

**someone** : BUT ONLY A LITTLE

**someone** : jonn

**someone** : jon?

 

**weed** has gone offline

 

**_10:33 a.m. 9/13_ **

**we love dick** group chat

**someone** has renamed the chat **the walker crisis**

 

**someone** : guys help jon isnt responding to any of my calls and im lowkey freaking out

**someone** : what if something happened to himmm uggh

**someone** : shit what if hes mad at me and not answering my calls on purpose !!!

 

**someone** has added **weed** to the chat

 

**someone** : @weed im sorry jon! Tell me what i did wrong and i will fix it

**someone** : @weed

**someone** : @weed

**someone** : @weed

 

**weed** has left the chat

 

**someone** has added **weed** to the chat

 

**weed** : fuck off brendon im not in the mood

**someone** : wdym??? Are you okay??

 

**weed** has left the chat

 

**spanx_smith** : Don’t add him back, Bren, I think he’d rather be left alone.

**someone** : okay..

**someone** : I’m still p worried tho i don’t want him to do something he’ll regret

 

**someone** has added **ryanross** to the chat

 

**ryanross** : what

**someone** : jons being a moody bihtc and idk what to do

**ryanross** : oh

**ryanross** : okay

 

**ryanross** has gone offline

 

**someone** : what a dick

**someone** : but spence really what should i do???? Jons been my friend for years i don’t wanna lose him

**spanx_smith** : You won’t lose him, I think he just needs to be left alone for a bit. Let him be and he’ll get over it.

**someone** : are you sure??

**spanx_smith** : Well I mean I’m not a psychologist

**spanx_smith** : But I fully stand by what I say

**someone** : okay fine

**someone** : but if he’s still like this tomorrow you might find a giant fist sized hole in your favorite snare when you go to practice

**spanx_smith** : You wouldn’t

**someone** : okay ofc i wouldn’t

**someone** : you better be right tho

 

**_3:44 p.m. 9/13_ **

**spanx_smith** and **weed** ’s private chat

 

**spanx_smith** : Hey man

**spanx_smith** : You okay?

**spanx_smith** : You don’t have to talk to me about it if you don’t want to, but Brendon’s worried sick and we all have class together tomorrow so I feel like it would be great if we could get this cleared up.

**spanx_smith** : I don’t want to sound insensitive, and you don’t have to come to class if you don’t want to, but it really throws off the group dynamic if one member is not talking to anyone else.

**spanx_smith** : The semester project won’t end up getting finished, which is why I need you to either swallow your discomfort or clear it up with Brendon, or both.

**spanx_smith** : Reply me before tomorrow, ok?

 

**_4:13 p.m. 9/13_ **

**keltie** and **ryanross** ’s private chat

 

**keltie** : hey ry

**keltie** : come overr

**keltie** : im lonely and i miss uu :(

 

**_4:14 p.m. 9/13_ **

**the walker crisis** group chat

 

**ryanross** : yeah babe be right there

**ryanross** : oh shit wiat

**someone** : wtf

**spanx_smith** : I second that.

**ryanross** : nvm that wasn’t meant for you guys

**ryanross** : sorry

**spanx_smith** : Yeah I gathered…

**someone** : …

**someone** : have fun i guess

 

**_4:15 p.m. 9/13_ **

**keltie** and **ryanross** ’s private chat

 

**ryanross** : do you want me to come over now

**keltie** : if you can :P

**ryanross** : sure

**keltie** : aww thanks ry

**ryanross** : np

**ryanross** : but if you don’t mind me asking, why are you feeling lonely? what about your friends

**keltie** : they’re all busy today

**keltie** : and besides i felt like seeing you <3

**ryanross** : oh

**keltie** : my boyfriends out drinking with his friends so im sad

**ryanross** : ...you have a boyfriend??

**keltie** : yeah

**keltie** : is that a problem

**ryanross** : no

**ryanross** : im just a little surprised

**keltie** : oh ok

**keltie** : are you almost here

**ryanross** : yeah im outside your dorm

**keltie** : letting you in just a sec

 

**_4:16 p.m. 9/13_ **

**someone** and **weed** ’s private chat

 

**someone** : idk if it counts for anything now but i think you were right about ryan jon

**someone** : he keeps seeing keltie even though he knows she has a bf

**someone** : its ridiculous what he...what THEY are doing

**someone** : im really sorry jon

**someone** : im not exactly sure what for but i am

 

**_4:20 p.m. 9/13_ **

**spanx_smith** and **weed** ’s private chat

 

**weed** : im in love with brendon

**spanx_smith** : Sorry, what?

**weed** : ik its stupid but im hella jealous of ryan

**weed** : ive been trying to get brendon to notice me in that way for YEARS but all ryan has to do is exist and bren is head over heels

**weed** : im just so fuckig pissed because ry’s not even a good guy and all he’d do is hurt bren

**weed** : i shouldn’t be mad at bren though ik im being petty

**weed** : ugh idk what i should do

**spanx_smith** : Why don’t you just tell Brendon?

**spanx_smith** : It will get a lot of things cleared up.

**weed** : do you even know what youre saying

**spanx_smith** : You’re right, that was a stupid thing to say.

**weed** : don’t say that

**weed** : i appreciate your effort

**weed** : this is really nice of you man

**weed** : letting me vent to you about my problems

**spanx_smith** : You don’t need to thank me

**spanx_smith** : If we’re going to be friends, then this should be normal.

**spanx_smtih** : You need a place to let out your feelings, and if its here, then so be it.

**weed** : brendon never told me you were such a nice guy spence

**weed** : he only told me about the time you passed out during band practice and your drum fell on the turf and broke

**weed** : and about that time when you snapped someones clarinet in half by stepping on it when learning your drill

**spanx_smith** : I can’t believe he told you about all that and not the time I set my drums on fire.

**weed** : you what

**weed** : please explain

**spanx_smith** : No.

**spanx_smith** : Go work the thing out with Brendon

 

**spanx_smith** has gone offline


End file.
